Author Archives: brock8292

Elevate your sphincter scrubbing and journey through the dark crevices of history where we’ll expose the past, present and future of grundle grinding. And where we are going, we don’t need toilet paper. Scientists in Spain discovered what they believe to be the oldest human turd on record in a 50,000-year-old fire pit that wasContinue reading “Primitive humans lived in caves and wiped their asses with their hands. What’s your excuse?”

Robert ” Rockin’ Rob ” Powers, who spontaneously spawned from a drug-fueled bacchanal sometime in the late 1960’s, passed away peacefully earlier this week after an extended battle with throat cancer and inner demons. Rob, affectionately known as “Goober” to his dear friends, was a devoted addict, registered sex offender and exemplary degenerate who neverContinue reading “Here for a good time, not a long one”

“The Universe smiles upon you because your intentions are pure” -unknown It was spring time in the valley and sounds of reawakening could be heard ringing throughout the otherwise quiet neighborhood. Bright rays of light from the rising sun began peeking over the distant hills as the blue Chevy carpenter’s van pulled up to theContinue reading “The King of Hearts”

Primitive humans lived in caves and wiped their asses with their hands. What’s your excuse? Panic buying is trending again, and I feel equal parts empathy and amusement casually observing my fellow quarantine shoppers desperately squabble over packages of commercial grade toilet paper with the bunghole appeal of low grit sandpaper. It is possible toContinue reading “Busting Grumpies and the Three Seashells”